I Fear for my Husband in America Just as Much as I Do for Him on the Front Line.
I Fear for my Husband in America Just as Much as I Do for Him on the Frontlines.*I struggled with how I would address what’s been going on in this country but I figured I’d be doing myself and black men everywhere a disservice if I didn’t say how I really feel.
My husband is a soldier. We share 3 children and 8 years together. When he first deployed in 2013 I was terrified, I held my breath until he came home and I hold my breath every time he leaves out the door because I know that there’s a chance that he may be racially profiled, mistaken as aggressive or resisting and he may not come home. My husband goes out of his way to avoid the police and he still he gets pulled over.
I worry that he’ll be hurt or killed coming to or from his job more than while he’s at his job.
After last week’s death of Alton Sterling and Philando Castille I became paranoid, I usually only have that nagging fear for my husband in the back of my head but this was no longer a nagging fear in the back of my head. This was a roaring beast yelling in my face and I felt defenseless. Suddenly nothing else mattered, only the protection of my family.
I am scared for my husband every single day. I am scared for my brothers, my sons, my cousins and the millions of other black men who live in America. The visual murders that the world was forced to watch via social media has us all facing the ugly reality that an innocent black man can get gunned down by police in front of a crowd or his children and there will still be hateful people in the world who find it justified or even worse amusing. I saw a meme on facebook of Philando Castile right after he was murdered and a caption that read “When you spill Kool-Aid on your shirt”. What is wrong with this world?! Why are people filled with so much hate? It’s disturbing and disgusting that anyone would find this amusing.
A quick scan of my facebook timeline showed me how truly divided the world is. When 2 black men were gunned down back to back like animals my facebook timeline was filled with black people voicing their outrage and white people posting cat videos and vacation pictures. I’ll take it even further, these were the same white people that were outraged at the killing of Harambe the Gorilla, it wasn’t until cops in Texas were gunned down that they were outraged. I don’t understand this! At the end of the day, Alton Sterling, Philando Castile and the 5 police officers in Texas all bled RED! We are the same! If you cannot see why having sympathy for a gorilla and white police officers but not for innocent black men then you are a racist. What people who have a problem with Black Lives Matter need to understand is that BLACK POWER DOESN’T MEAN ANTI-WHITE. I love people of all races and when I find that someone of a different color, religion, sexuality or class is being wronged I empathize and if I can I help because I AM HUMAN. If an individual cannot feel empathy for another that has been wronged regardless of color, creed religion or sexuality they are not human.
Police Brutality is a Problem for us ALL
This police brutality problem is something that we all should be concerned about. This is a problem that is spreading like wildfire and if we don’t stop the innocent killings of black men they’ll get bolder and it won’t just stop at black men, it won’t stop at racism, it’ll be sexism, classism and whatever they choose next. This is our problem.
“Two months ago I had a nice apartment in Chicago. I had a good job. I had a son. When something happened to the Negroes in the South I said, ‘That’s their business, not mine.’ Now I know how wrong I was. The murder of my son has shown me that what happens to any of us, anywhere in the world had better be the business of us all.”
Do you know that when slavery was common slavers were so hard up for slaves that white children were being kidnapped and stolen into slavery?
Relates the case of a white boy who, at the age of seven, was stolen from his home in Ohio, tanned and stained in such a way that he could not be distinguished from a person of colour, and then sold as a slave in Virginia. At the age of twenty, he made his escape, by running away, and happily succeeded in rejoining his parents.-
From the book Running a Thousand Miles For Freedom
Do you see why this is a problem for everyone?
The sobering truth
I remember years ago when people were saying that the police was being militarized. That’s not true. The military has strict rules of engagement, there is no such thing as shoot first and ask questions later. The military does not operate like thugs and gangsters killing people at the drop of a hat even when at war. During war, you cannot fire your weapon at the enemy unless they fire at you first. That means that while in a constant hostile environment such as war a soldier cannot fire at the enemy until they are fired upon first, while police officers in America are firing at and KILLING black men who have no gun, who have not fired at them, or in most cases RUNNING FROM THEM! How is this right? How is it that the enemy of America is given the benefit of the doubt but black men who serve this country are still subject to racial profiling and prejudice? It’s a complete slap in the face to every soldier regardless of color who serves this country. To fight in a war and then have to return to a country that doesn’t give them the same respect that is given to the enemy is crazy. Maybe we should militarize the police and then maybe less lives will be lost.
Let me be clear
The fact that I am Pro-Black does not mean I’m anti-white. The fact that I understand that Black Lives Matter doesn’t mean that I’m anti-police. I know that there are good cops and I have the pleasure of knowing quite a few that are black and white but I do understand that this is a problem that we all share and that makes me human.