This Father’s Day is particularly special for my family. This is the first Father’s Day that my husband will speak to his biological father on Father’s Day. Growing up my husband did not know who is biological father was and this year I was determined to figure out this mystery. With the help of an Ancestry.com test, my manifesting techniques and my private investigation skills I was able to find his biological father after 30 plus years. Here’s the story……
A few months after I met my husband in college he called me and told me that his biological mother had passed away. Our relationship was really new, in fact we were in the “talking” phase and I did not know much about him but I knew that loss was devastating for him. I later learned that he was raised by his maternal side of the family and that he sparingly kept in contact with his biological mother. They would exchange letters and typically talked on the phone once a year and he had planned to visit her after he had graduated which was only a few months away but that visit never came. His mother was a worldly mysterious woman who traveled across the U.S alone and not much is known about her.
As our relationship grew my husband told me that he was raised by his aunt who is his mother’s older sister and that he did not know who his biological father was. The conversation about his biological father never came up and his aunt had no clue about who his father could be. This mystery never seemed to bother my husband. I honestly think I was more bothered by it than he was. He never allowed it to negatively affect how he fathered and he never used it as a crutch, he also never faulted the man because he never knew the circumstances around his conception. His theory was perhaps that his biological father didn’t know he existed.
As our relationship grew and we eventually got married I would suggest every so often that we try to find his biological father. He was ALWAYS adamantly against it as he just KNEW that 1. there would be no way that we would find him-he believed it was impossible and 2. he was quite sure that the man who fathered him would no longer be alive as it was so long ago. As much as I wanted to respect his wishes, that was simply not good enough for me. I would have conversations with his aunt to pick her brain of any information that she had that could lead to the prospect of finding his father but unfortunately none of the information I received was fruitful. Finally I decided to become a registered Private Investigator for the sole purpose of finding his father. I obtained my registration but was unlucky in finding his father, I did however find his older brother from his mother’s side. His older brother was born a few years before him and they were raised separately. His older brother was raised by his father’s side and they unfortunately were estranged from each other. Although we found him, that relationship didn’t flourish and we moved on.
After that when I would bring up the topic of finding my husband’s father he was nonchalant but he would alway say that the only thing he wanted from the situation was to see a photo of his father. He was very curious to know what his father looked like because growing up he did not favor anyone on his maternal side. Throughout the years that we’ve been together he was often stopped by African men and women and they would ask him if he was from Ghana or some other African country. The answer was always “No”, he would joke that all dark skinned people aren’t from Africa and we would move on. This happened so much that we were never surprised by the question. One time we were shopping in the mall and one of the mall cops followed us from store to store with his eyes glued on my husband. We were very startled by this and right when we were about to confront the mall cop he walked directly over to my husband and asked him if he was in Ghana last month. We burst out laughing because we knew the question that was to follow and of course he answered “No, but I get that question all the time.”
About three years ago I joined some DNA groups on Facebook and I was overjoyed at the number of people who had found their families through research and from taking DNA tests. Years before we had taken an African Ancestry test to determine our African lineage and to also learn what tribes we came from. My results were ALL mixed up, I’m talking about at least 6 different African countries. My husband’s on the other hand was 100% from one country. We were both surprised at that. After further research in the DNA groups I learned that the type of test we took would not get us any closer to finding his father. I got frustrated and really confused with the process of understanding and uploading DNA info to the different databases and I stopped cold turkey.
Fast forward to December 31, 2020 at 11:55 pm. For the last two years we’ve upheld the tradition of writing down everything we WILL accomplish in the New Year. It’s actually called scripting and it’s a major tool when manifesting. We also have the kids participate in this tradition. For 2021 my husband and I told each other everything on our list. I was not completely truthful with him because on my list was “We will find my husband’s father and his father will be well adjusted, happy and healthy. His father will be of sound mind and body and his paternal family will be loving and accepting of him.” The part about health and acceptance was really important to me because I’d learned through the various DNA groups that a person could find their biological parent and the parent could be deceased or that they would reject the child and in some cases be extremely nasty and cold to the biological child who was just seeking answers or closure. I’m extremely emotionally protective of my husband and I did not want him to experience any emotional pain behind this experience.
He was completely unaware of my plans regarding finding his biological father this year and I was determined and I knew the ancestors were on my side. In February Ancestry.com had a DNA test sale. I was initially skeptical about the process but at this point I had nothing to lose. I casually mentioned to him that they were having a sale and that I think we should try to find his dad again. He again expressed that it was pointless and that he would not find a match. I of course spoke positively and scolded him for not being positive about the situation. He looked at me as if I had three eyes and he went on about his day. I ordered the damn test anyway.
When the test finally arrived I was extremely excited. He was unimpressed (as he is with everything) and it sat on our dining room table for weeks. I was treading lightly as to be mindful of his emotions but he was pissing me the hell off! One day I went off and told him that he was basically getting on my damn nerve and that he just needed to take the test. He agreed to take the test and I was so excited. I told him I would take a shower and be back to watch him take the test. I really wanted to record the process and take photos for memory sake. I got out of the shower and this man told me he had already taken and sealed up the test. I was livid but I kept my composure. The only thing left for us to do was to ship it off, and this man again waited weeks! He kept forgetting to drop it off at the post office. He would leave it in his pocket and drive right past the post office with it. At this point I wasn’t sure if he was doing this on purpose or not. One day he finally told me he had dropped the test in the mail. He downloaded the app and then we waited. And waited some more.
On March 28th there was a full moon and full moons are particularly good for releasing manifestations. I had been slacking when it came to manifesting on full moons but I took this opportunity to script in my journal. In my journal I wrote. “My husband will get his ancestry results and he will have a match. His paternal father will be healthy and alive and his paternal side of the family will be loving and accepting of him.” I wrote that down and went to bed. The next morning my husband called me while he was out walking the dog and told me he had an ancestry match notification on his phone. Y’all sometimes my manifestations are instant just like this so I was not surprised but yes I was so excited. When he came back in the house I looked at the app and saw that he had matched with a woman. Let’s call her Kimberly Williams or K.W. the app told us that K.W. was a 100% match to be a Grandparent, Grandchild, Half Sibling, Aunt or Niece. Now don’t ask me how I knew but I instantly knew that K.W. was his half sister. In addition to learning this the app also told us that K.W. was 100% Nigerian and that my husband was 70% Nigerian. All of this new information was shocking and overwhelming.
I won’t lie I was extremely nervous to contact K.W. because of some of the horror stories that I had read of families rejecting the unknown relative but my husband was optimistic. My main goal was to find out who K.W’s father was so that we could eventually find my husband’s father. I tried searching for K.W.’s father online but I was unsuccessful. After hitting so many dead ends I posted in one of the DNA groups about my dilemma and an amazing search angel gave me the name of who she thought could possibly be K.W’s father which would be my husband’s father. She also encouraged me to just reach out to K.W.
After discussing everything with my husband we decided to contact K.W. When we first called K.W. she was understandably taken aback. I carefully explained the situation and she was extremely helpful. She told us who her father was and it was exactly who the search angel said. She then reached out to her father who we’ll call J.W. and gave him our number. After she spoke with J.W. she told us that he was in Nigeria for a month and that he wouldn’t be back for at least 4 weeks. We talked to him on the phone about 2 days later and explained everything to him. He was skeptical at first because he didn’t quite understand how the ancestry test worked as he had never taken the test. We exchanged photos and the similarities to my husband and J.W.’s sons in Nigeria were shocking. The next day we received a call from J.W. and we discussed the timeline of when my husband was conceived. We learned that J.W. came to America in the 1980’s for pilot school, he’s owned several businesses and that include a nightclub owner, electrician and taxi cab business. It would’ve been during this time that he would’ve met my husband’s mother. It was a very long time ago and he could not remember my husband’s mother but we decided that when he got back to the U.S. in a few weeks that they would take a paternity test.
About 2 weeks ago my husband flew to meet him for the first time and to take the test. Before my husband left I told him that I was sure in my soul that J.W. was his father and he understood my strong belief but they both wanted to be sure. Last week the results came back and of course my instincts were right the test came back 99.999996% positive that J.W. was his father. My heart is so full for my husband. This is a journey that he is eager to embark on and I am so happy to support him. My husband has gone from having one estranged brother on his mothers side to having 10 siblings on his fathers side who live throughout the U.S., the U.K and in Nigeria, his brothers and sisters in Nigeria are eager to meet him and we hope to plan a trip soon. He speaks with his father frequently and they are currently building a relationship which I think is quite beautiful. Their conversations are filled with learning his Nigerian family’s history and learning a lot about each other. If you are hesitating to find a relative I strongly encourage you to remain positive and to seek them out. I’ll be very honest with you that the process for us was not nearly as hard as it is for some people but if you remain positive I’m sure you’ll be fruitful. I’m obviously a huge advocate for manifesting and I believe that with the guidance of my ancestors assisted us on this journey. If you want to learn more about things that I have manifested you can check it out here. If you are interested in manifesting yourself check out my manifesting candles. Lastly, we took the Ancestry DNA test and it’s the one I recommend if you are interested in starting your journey.