If you are happily single then this post might not be for you. But if you aspire to be in a serious relationship or even married these are 5 things you may want to consider. Now please understand this is in no way a comprehensive list but this is something to help you jump start a positive dating lifestyle.
- Lack of Confidence. Confidence is the first thing you should put on each morning. If you don’t believe you’re attractive why should anyone else? And I’m not talking about the feeling you get when your hair is popping and your eyebrows are on fleek. I’m talking about deep down when the weave is out and the waist trainer comes off. Do you still feel beautiful? If you don’t you have some soul-searching to do. Work on loving yourself before you expect anyone else to. Men can smell insecurity a mile away and believe me insecurity is not an attribute. Some men will prey on your insecurities and use them to manipulate you. If a good man knows you’re insecure more than likely he won’t waste his time because it’s just too much trouble.
- Perception. Have you ever taken the time to think about how people (especially the opposite sex) perceive you? Are you consistently posting half nude pictures online? If so, no one is taking you seriously. Now it’s cool to post maybe one or two pictures in a bathing suit at an actual beach but anything else is just tasteless. Do you go to the grocery store in a cat suit looking like you are on your way to the club? If so you look crazy. What kind of men are you trying to attract? Nasty-sexually motivated men is what you will attract, even if you don’t intend to. Men that are generally respectful and are of potential life long partner quality are not checking for you. Now, they might look at your revealing clothes or your sexually explicit posts online and he may even message you but please understand it’s nothing serious because he has already categorized you and will use you to pass the time until someone with more self-respect comes along. You may have gotten his attention but you definitely won’t keep it.
- Your marketing is bad. You repeatedly post or repost things about being single. I am so tired of seeing women post tweets or memes about #teamsingle when we all know they want to be #teamtaken or even #teammarried. Like the old adage goes no one wants what no one else wants. Please stop advertising that you are single. It comes off as obsessive and too eager, in other words thirsty. So in conclusion just stop with the #teamsingle, it is getting you nowhere. Like attracts like, and if you keep saying, advertising or promoting yourself as single then that’s all you’ll ever be. If you truly want to be in a relationship then say so, there is nothing wrong with that, and you actually appear as a woman who knows what she wants, and men find that attractive.
- You’re holding on to the past and not embracing the future. I personally know quite a few women that are on the hamster wheel of past relationships, and honestly I’ve been there before myself. Do you have a former lover from oh so long ago that you have this amazing “chemistry” or “connection” with? When you get together do you reminisce of the past and make happy plans about the future? All of this stuff is great but you’re still single. Girl let him go. I don’t care what he promises you or what he says. If he really wanted to be with you there would be no reason why he couldn’t. Whether its distance or finances he would make sure nothing stopped you two from being together. He is inevitably stringing you along whether he means to or not. So while your heart is on pause and you’re ignoring any and all potential mates and dates. He’s breezing through life -and depending on what kind of woman you are, breezing through you, until he meets the one who won’t let hell or high water keep them apart. I don’t care if you have children with him, if he won’t commit leave him alone and move forward. Time is the one exchange that can never be given back.
- You don’t date. If Mr. Right knocked on your door and introduced himself you’d think he was crazy. You won’t meet Mr. Right or anyone else for that matter if you don’t go outside of your regular day to day routine. Now is the time to go places you’ve never gone before and to meet people you’ve never met before. Embrace this time and explore new places. You never know what you’ll learn or who you might meet along the way.
With all that being said I hope this post helps you kick start a positive dating lifestyle.