B elow is a random list of things that I’ve realized since becoming a mom. I’m quite sure this list will be updated often.
Your child will embarrass you at the most inopportune times usually by pulling out a booger in front of a perfect stranger.
When you have a new baby, if you aren’t driving you have to sit in the back seat (this is something I really struggle with).
Taking the escalator is a thing of the past. You might as well roll that stroller on to the elevator and wait behind 5 other moms.
Peeing alone is a past luxury.
Your child WILL stick their hand in the toilet. This was my biggest fear when Zion was a baby and he made sure to make that fear a reality.
You will forget to do something important, the other day we were in the daycare parking lot and Zion screamed “You didn’t wash my face!!”
Potty training is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
There will be times that you fake being sleep, so that your child will think you are asleep.
Kids are gross.
You will hide in the bathroom.
Your child will find something to smear all over themselves and your walls and your floor.
I don’t know what’s worse changing someone’s diapers or wiping someone’s butt.
You can buy your child an expensive new toy and they will play with the box.
You will become a referee if you have more than one child.
Sometimes your child will eat off the floor and you won’t have the strength to stop them.
There will be moments when you question your parenting. I recently saw my son lowering his mouth to the floor to eat a crumb.