I really wanted to write this post because the topic of cheating or being cheated on is such a popular one. We’ve all seen Olivia dropping it like it’s hot in the Oval office. And it drives me absolutely crazy to see Angela risking her career and making a fool of herself for Ghost, and if I’m being perfectly honest I can’t stand them heifers (the characters they portray). I always sympathize with the wife and pretty much the only reason is because she is the wife. But when the camera shuts off and the season finales end, some of us in the real world have to deal with the realities of being cheated on.
We have all been cheated on, and if you think you haven’t, you have he was just really good at it. For most of us, when we find out we’ve been cheated on our whole world comes crashing down. Our heart starts beating fast, our mind starts racing and all of the things that didn’t quite add up at the time seem to make sense now. And if we’re hurt real bad, a couple windows might get smashed and a few tires slashed-Oh wait that’s just me. Don’t judge me. Any who in the emotion of it all I could never really understand why men cheat but after years of heart break and story’s from girlfriends along with honest confessions from male friends I think I have a pretty solid list of the reasons why men cheat .You may not agree with all 7 reasons but I’m confident you will agree with at least 1.
1. Temptation. Men don’t get approached for sex as often as women do. Men are constantly offering up what’s in their pants to women and most of us are not amused or impressed by this tactic. But when opportunities do arise for men, most are thrilled or even shocked that they are being solicited. They feel like they’ve won the lottery and they don’t wanna miss out on cashing in the jackpot.
2. Lack of intimacy. If you’re denying your husband sex every day but expecting him not to cheat, you are a living breathing oxymoron. And holding out is not helping you, its only hurting your relationship. And if you need a few reasons why you should have sex with your husband every day this should help push you in the right direction
3. Boredom. You ever leave your puppy at home and you came back and your house was completely destroyed? Now I’m not calling your man a puppy, but that puppy you left at home was bored and so he found something to do until you got back ;). Idol minds are the devils playground. If your spouse has a lot of unproductive time on his hands he might find himself engaging in unsavory activities. Most-not all times men fail to channel their energy into something positive.
4. Lifestyle. If your husband is going to the club every weekend you got problems. But if your husband is going to the strip club every weekend you got major problems. If you’re an active member at church and he’s the local “Rain Man” you are headed for destruction. As a unit you simply cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24). If his lifestyle didn’t change when you got married or into a serious relationship, that’s a huge red flag. You can’t successfully be in a relationship with a person who is not acknowledging he is in a relationship with you.
5. Peer Pressure. If your husbands friends ain’t ish. Nine times out of ten, by the time he gets home he won’t be ish either. Married men can’t routinely kick it with single men without there being one idiot out the group who will encourage or invite him to step out of his element. These dynamics just don’t work. It will only benefit you to know the character of your spouse’s friends. I’ve seen way too many men try to prove a point to their friends at the expense of their relationship. Especially if the friend they want to impress or appease is someone close to them.
6. It’s considered the norm. Recently I saw an episode of Oprah’s Where Are They Now which featured DL. Hughley. In the segment, he discussed why he had cheated on his wife. His explanation blew my mind.
“I always thought [cheating] was just part of being a man. I never thought it was a horrible thing to be or to do. I never felt like it was anything I was doing wrong.”
This information is vital because it’s coming from a man himself. He basically just admitted to having no moral compass.
7. Distance. Some men just don’t deal well with distance. Being in a relationship is hard enough, but when you add distance to the equation it creates more of a strain on your relationship. I’ve heard so many stories about husbands who’ve cheated while they were deployed. All these men came from different backgrounds but the one thing they had in common was distance. Although being separated is not an indication that your spouse will cheat, I try not to be apart from my husband for extended periods of time if it’s not necessary.
So what are the reasons you think men cheat?
Disclaimer* I am in no way encouraging sex outside of marriage; believe me it didn’t work for me. It wasn’t until I committed to myself and God that I found my happily ever after and I encourage everyone to at least try the same.